Facebook School Of Social Standing

Swati Paliwal  | 

It is common knowledge that Facebook was started by Mark Zuckerberg to provide an interaction platform to Harvard students. The more I use Facebook and analyze the performance of regular organic posts, the more I feel like I am back in school competing against peers for something that I have now started to call a high ďSocial StandingĒ. Mark Zuckerberg was a student who created an interactive world for other students; hence itís not a surprise that Facebook challenges you to be the best in the class and amongst your peers, years after you have graduated.

"ABC started working at McKinsey consulting ltd"
"XYZ is feeling Awesome @ Eiffel Tower Paris"
"Lucky to have PQR in my life. You are such an awesome guy"

We decide what part of our daily mundane life would be socially cool and submit that information as a post or picture to Facebook. So in a way we submit assignments in form of posts/pictures/updates etc. to the Facebook School of social standing and wait to be graded.

For simple explanation consider Facebook to be a school which grades all its pupils in a big relative grading system called "SOCIAL STANDING".

There are marks assigned for everything like:

  • Attendance
  • Time spent in school (On Facebook)
  • Class participation (Post and Pictures update)
  • Participation in extra-curricular activities (Facebook Apps)

Like most schools, Facebook gives its pupils a constant chance to work hard towards improving their social standing. Though FB does favor the best and the brightest of the lot as per the grading system; the more you score, the more chance you get to shine on other peopleís walls to score further. (PS: Score refers to scoring points :-))

In this post I have tried to demystify Facebookís organic posts grading system and how it impacts our social standing. So lets take a look at the variables and how they impact the equation.

Likes (L) :

Likes on pictures and posts are basic points, which keep getting added to your report. This is also the most common base of comparison between students to do a self-evaluation of their social standing.

Comments (C) :

Comments have higher weightage and work as point boosters. One commentís value can range anything from +5pts to +100pts depending upon the social standing of the person who commented (Somebody actually took out time to type all that, even though they might have just copy pasted and tweaked a previous comment). Considering the average attention span of individuals when online is just about 2secs (unless its porn), comments are considered to be high value variable by Facebook.

Share (S):

Share is a Multiplier. Every time somebody shares your content, all the basic points that you accumulated via likes and comments gets multiplied by the number of pupils who shared your post.

Friends (F):

The total no of friends on Facebook for an individual can in some cases be more than the no of people the individual has actually physically interacted with in his entire lifespan. Itís just a way to get more points. Adding people who you don't know is cheating for getting a higher social standing but Facebook promotes it by showing your common friends (In some cases you might not even remember the common friends but still add them because 5 common friends means you might just know them)

Messages (M):

That has no relevance in the scorecard. It is a means for FB to ensure students don't shift to other schools of social standing like Google+ with its enticing Gmail and G-chat faculty.

Grading System

Facebook grades your assignment submissions (posts/pictures etc.) over a pre-decided time interval. If your assignment grade is above the minimum passing marks for that time interval, the assignment is shown as an example of cool Social standing on your friendís wall. If you secure very high grades then its shown even on your friendís friendís walls. This continues till the time your assignment grades are higher then the minimum passing marks for consecutive time intervals.

Time Interval 1: Total marks = L1 + C1 + S(L1+C1)
Time Interval 2: Total marks = L2 + C2 + S(L2+C2)
And so onÖ.

Once your assignment marks are below the passing criteria in a particular time interval, Facebook does not show it on walls anymore. Moreover any assignment, which performs amazingly well over consecutive time periods, has a high possibility of going VIRAL (thatís like winning the national competition/national scholarship award/national best student award).

Facebook School of social standing maintains its high standard of fair marks allotment but they publically admit that they are open to accepting money to boost your marks. Once you agree to pay money to improve your social standing your assignment is passed on to the department called Facebook Ad manager.

Facebook Ad manager is like Shah Rukh Khan of ďMain hun NaĒ, consistently prompting you that you need not worry if your posts are not getting good grades, Ad manager hainaÖ

Facebook Ad manager is a coaching center associated with the main school. Its purpose is to help weak students become popular and popular ones to become viral; and of course, all this extra help comes at a cost. This coaching center helps you get instant results and also teaches you the kind of content that would work best for you.

Facebook has somehow become a part of our daily routine, and as I come to the end of this post I am already wondering about how many marks would this post secure.

And even if I donít get results organically Ad Manager tohhaina!!!

5 Myths about 1st Job

Swati Paliwal  | 

The day I received my 1st employment letter was a very proud moment for me and my family. Iím not trying to be negative but I really feel that 1st job is overhyped pretty mush like most of the 1st's in a person's life. To list down the 5 most common bubbles around the 1st job that eventually burst with time let me start with the most common one:

Bubble No. 1 : Monthly Salary = CTC/12

This very common myth gets cleared for some lucky souls early;whose elders have warned them or who know the existence of HRA/PF/TDS etc. For other regular IQ chaps like me the shock comes on the 30th of the month (salary credit day) and then we go rushing to Finance dept (Cant disclose salary to colleagues) who give us some jargon but we eventually come to accept the existence and importance of the word "Cash in Hand".

Bubble No. 2 : Wardrobe Revamping (Flawless Formals : I'm a professional now)

A lot of english series/sitcoms are responsible for this bubble. Stunning smart men in impeccable suits and women looking fabulous in white shirt and grey pleated skirt. This is reality for only top 5% white collar job holders placed in MNC's, for the rest of us the tropical heat & perverts inside and outside the company, limits the wardrobe for men to basic Shirt & trousers and women to Salwaar suit.

Bubble No. 3 : Expense Planning

Personal expenses + Money sent home + Girlfriend/BF gift budget + Savings = Monthly Salary

This equation is just not correct. There will be unforeseen expences like extra booze/cigs or a simple "This is my money I can spend it the way I like" reasoning. Hence the personal expense variable just keeps bloating up. As monthly salary is fixed "Savings" is the variable that diminishes and in most cases gets kicked out of the equation by other superior variables.

Bubble No. 4 : I have a great job and I love it

Its plain luck or out of this world hard work & determination for bubble no 4 to be a reality. Most of us are blinded by the independence and most important Money associated with the 1st job that profile/company or work culture take a back seat. This bubble does not burst suddenly it takes years to wear off and in some cases people spend an entire lifetime in it.

Bubble No. 5 : Corporate Bubble

The 5th bubble is an omnipresent corporate bubble that all of us are a part of. The lust for money and achievement, the drive to thrive among colleagues , the innate sense of power over reporting employees starts defining us as an individual and in turn thickens the layer of this bubble. There is no way out of this bubble, its a part of society, but we can ensure our bubble is thin and transparent enough for us to enjoy the other important things like family, friends, and ourselves.

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